The Santa Rita Jail has been described as many things.  In recent months it was acknowledged as being the "Greenest Jail in the U.S."    It's also been described a convenient location to house inmates who will need to appear at the Dublin Courthouse.

What is not being described as, however, is a favorable place to be detained.

According to a recent report by Curbed.com, the Santa Rita Jail has ranked just 2.5 stars among Alameda County Yelpers.

One person arrested during an Occupy Oakland sweep complained of "freezing and squalid" drunk tanks, furthering the toilets are "hepatitis-y" and the cells lack soap.  She also blasted the facility for only serving white bread bologna sandwiches and soggy cookies for lunch.

Another Occupier wrote of rusted beds, clothing that smells like spoiled milk and suggested the food was "probably laced with brain numbing medication".   He suggested readers memorize the phone numbers of at least three friends which should be known "front and back".   He also reminded would-be arrestees to turn their cell phones off at the time they are taken into custody so as to ensure the battery would still have a charge upon their release.

Some, however, offered a more tongue-in-cheek description of the Alameda County Jail facility. One pointed out your assigned wrist band also doubled as a public transportation pass.   Yelper Adam. E.'s review highlighted the Santa Rita Jail being his first choice in detention facilities when he's looking for an "evening bound and plastic-tied to the floor".  He believed the room-temperature bologna sandwiches being not too hot, not too cold were an added bonus and that being able to urinate through the prison issued jumpsuit was helpful for those who opted not to use the holding cell toilets.

Another suggested avoiding selling narcotics to undercover police informants in order to avoid a four to six month jail stay.  If you don't break the law, you'll never need to see the inside of this place, he said.

An attorney from Pleasanton, CA said that as far as jails go, the Santa Rita Jail really isn't all that bad.  It is relatively modern, easily accessible from all points in the Bay Area and the staff is attentive to moving detainees to appropriate unit assignments to minimize conflict, he wrote, adding there are far worse places people could wind up.

Yet out of all 23 posted Yelp reviews, Kawika C. may have summed it up best.  For her, the idea that the Santa Rita Jail even had a Yelp page was laughable. No one likes any jail, she wrote.  Does anyone believe there are actually five star jails in existence?